Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

1985 Chicago Bears---> 90's Chicago Bulls----> 2005 White Sox. the teams we will put "Da" before and talk about until another championship run happens this city. I'm ready...are you?

I'm almost ready to begin testing out my latest hypothesis in my scientific research. I believe being reduced to watching basic cable has made me infertile. Ladies willing to help me test this hypothesis should send me a GIF or JPEG image of themselves no larger than 300x300 pixels or 8 KB in size.

Halloween is coming. Will I be Bronson? Will I be Hillary Duff? Will I be fan favorite Dan Nelson again? Who knows.

I hate astronauts.

Too many Cheese Pretzel Combos and they start to taste like vomit. But I still ate them.

White people are like @@@@@@@
Black people are like ###########

Dave Chapelle's show is over. I'm glad. It got too big and was way too copied. See: Mind of Mencia.

Anyone remember Dr.Katz?

( . )( . ) >eyeballs or a sweet rack? you decide.<

I can't feel bad for Hurricane "victims". if you live there you gotta know theres like 5 every year now.
PROTIP: try moving north.


"A lot of people don't know this, but I happen to be quite famous". - Sam Malone